a talker just like his mamma

josh's birthday 1 year later and the cranky kid

so its been a year. on this day a year ago was when i had my first panic attack. it was the start of a week of not eating followed by a hospital stay and every test under the sun ran on me. it was the start of the deepest darkest depression ive ever been in. every day im afraid of going back to that. i want to say im a survivor, so far i think i am but i thought id be much much farther by now. i want to do so much more in my life. i want more children and i want to be able to enjoy them. i want to be able to comfort my children when they are sick instead of running and panicking. i dont want to relapse, i want to move forward. i want to take a stand and tell my anxiety to shove it. im better than it and i shouldnt let it rule my life. i absolutely refuse to let it ruin my life. i am alive and i want to LIVE and enjoy every single minute that the good Lord allows me to. today is josh's birthday, he turns 26. i want to enjoy it. i dont want to associate his birthday every year with my sickness. on another note, i have a pounding headache and my child is not happy today. must be teeth...its always teeth. so heres some pictures and videos of my cranky child. :)

heathers baby shower

everything went really well and the diaper cake and cupcakes were a big hit! here are a few pictures from today :)

happy valentines day

jordan is sick and i dont feel good but here is a picture and a video for you to enjoy!

remembering

so a video to help us all remember just how little he was and how far he has come :)