Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Hello my name is Lisa, I am a control freak. I’ve been control free for less than 1 hour.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
- the state or quality of being kind
- a kind act; favor
- kind behavior
- friendly feeling
- a manner that is rude and insulting
- a wild or unrefined state
“Braveness” comes in many colors, shapes, size, and flavors. For someone else being brave might be bungee jumping off a cliff while for me being brave means sucking it up and leaving the house. Every time I venture outside for one thing or the other I have a different experience (usually bad and full of panic and anxiety). Today I put on a brave face and ventured to the supermarket to spend some of the last dollars we have. Due to hurricane Ike and my husband not working for 2 weeks we pulled almost all our funds out of the account so once the bills go through we won’t be totally penniless. So I sucked it up and got to Kroger without a hitch. I grit my teeth and fought my way through the post hurricane crowds and found my way to the checkout lines. While standing there totally minding my own business I get hit from the side by a cart. I look up and this little old lady is standing there staring me down and this was our conversation.
HER: “Excuse me young lady” *in a snotty voice*
ME: *dirty look*
HER: “Excuse me I need by”
*I scoot back so she can pass and she gives me the evil eye*
HER: “I had said excuse me”
ME: “Yah, AFTER you hit me with your cart!”
HER: “OH!? Did I hit you?! Sorry.”
“I DO speak English you know, and i’m not a wetback either”
ME: *dirty look and steps back in line*
WTH?! I could tell she spoke English well and was indeed a little white woman so what was the point in saying that? Also, why the hell was she talking down to ME when I was the one who got hit? If I was any less respectful and knew I wouldn’t feel guilty for hitting an elderly lady I would have knocked her ass out but I have better breeding than that. Now I know I look young, and by some standards I AM considered young but I was taught that you have to give respect in order to get it and she DEFINITELY didn’t give me respect.
Once I went further in line my *very* bad day turned very, very good! My cashier was one of my absolute favorites…i've known her for years. I started talking to her about the money issues and panic attacks and stuff and the lady behind me hands me a card. It’s a business card for a local parenting and resource center. They offer free baby food and other items on a point system if you take parenting classes or whatever. OMG I was so surprised that someone behind me in the supermarket of all places offered to help. Then I go on talking about how I can’t get a hold of my psychiatrist because UTMB is still in disaster recovery mode and is shut down. The same lady behind me told me that she had a close friend who works at UTMB and could have her get in touch with my psych so they can call me! I rarely get kindness from people so it was sooo nice for a change. If only that little old lady from earlier had a little more kindness in her.
Maybe I aught to be brave more often…maybe good things would come of it (then again I could run into more terrible little old ladies)